Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The moment I despised mankind

 Now before I go ahead telling you the story,I take pride in introducing my Best Friend Tanu,who is innocent,charming,sensitive,bubbling and full of fun.I know her right from my childhood,so I can easily guess her decisions and attitude.She is so close to me and thrusts me more than a family member.That's why I knew each and everything that happened in her life & why today I lost her.

Tanu and Abhinav are best friends from their high school & care alot for each other.'A' proposed her in 12th class,but Tanu didn't accept the proposal,and indeed didn't believe that he proposed her.She felt so sorry for him,blaming herself,that in one way or the other she might be responsible for his feelings.So she decided not to speak to him anymore,so that it would be for the better cause.Years passed and finally they lost touch with each other.Her life would have been much better if the relation ended-up there and then itself.

Tanu's friend Navya,made a prank by informing 'A' that Tanu got an accident and was badly injured.Concerned 'A' left a scrap 'Get well soon'.In an online chat Tanu came to know that 'A' was so concerned about her,so decided to be friends once again.Unfortunately after some days,'A' proposed to Tanu,her response was positive.The next day she told me she accepted the proposal.Awestruck,I asked her 'Do you love him?'.There came a Big NOOOOOOO!!Then I asked her what's this?She simply told me,somewhere she likes him,but she don't love him & guess she was in truce yesterday so the answer was  'yes'.I warned her,that he don't belong to our caste and your parents are not going to accept this at any cost.She simple replied 'I know I don't love him,but he was so happy yesterday,I can't spoil it.I care a lot for him,you might point out that he might not suit me but that doesn't matter as long as he loves me,he will handle my parents'.

They were happy for an year.I know 'A' always mutters 'I LOVE YOU' to her,he never misses saying these words.He is studying in IIT's and aspires to become a scientist,when I asked which one do you prefer Scientist or Tanu?He replied 'I will be happy to receive an award as a scientist if Tanu is beside me,if I don't have a life with her,it doesn't matter what I am.Simply I am no more.My life ends there,at that movement.You can never find me,not any social-networking sites or whatever.I will just live my life for my parents'.When I thought about them I used to think,they are made for each-other and Tanu is the most luckiest girl in the world.Tanu used to always tell 'A',that no matter what happens even if they are separated she still cares for him her entire life,just the way she cares now.Tanu used to warn 'A' that our relation may not work-out,coz we are different castes,even then she want to see a smile on his face and if really that situation arises,she would prefer to leave the earth & pray for that.

One fine day,'A' came to chat with Tanu,he mentioned that this relation isn't going to happen.She simply asked the reason.He told 'PERSONAL'.The once-upon-a-time his soulmate,life,love had now become a stranger for him.She begged him to tell the reason,so she can lead a normal life again,not pitying herself that she had been deceived.The answer is simple 'I am busy,DON'T DISTURB','Stop IRRITATING me'.Finally one day he came up with the answer that,he came to know the fact that his BC and financially week.Rubbish.Couldn't he come up with  a better reason or a bitter fact.She told him that it didn't matter,and she will offer the possible financial help,he simply called her 'MONEY-MINDED',and told that her caste matters to his family.Finally one day he let it out,he don't have any FEELINGS for her.

She was left alone,all the way.I remembered the days she tried desperately to call him,sobbed till 4am or 5am,skipped her meals,stayed in the rest rooms thinking of him.She was so obsessed that she wasn't able to find any option left except killing herself.She was so innocent and vulnerable that still she called him and explained her situation asking him to just be as friend,and speak politely.She wasn't even lucky to have her minor wish fulfilled.I need to agree that he was patient with her,listened to her when she sobbed and complained for the first few weeks,later he gave-up.But he never realized that he was just listening to her problems,and it's she who is paying for what he had done.
He proposed.
He went around her.
He called her soul-mate.
He told her,his life in incomplete without her.
He told he needed her.
He finally quit.

When I asked about it,he simply replied 'Our relation will never end with a friendship,so this is the only way we can get parted.'.Foolish or Bullshit.I don't know what to call.Why can't he explain his situation,I know my friend is mature enough to understand his problems.But he never understood that or anything about my friend.He was so caring & loving with her,when he thought he loved her.The movement he declared a BREAK-UP,he just ignored her,even when she was admitted in the hospital for an operation.He neither called her,when we asked why?He told that he assumed it was a minor operation & Tanu itself told him that she was okay.She felt so bad for calling him in the last movement before her operation when everyone expected that she had no chances of surviving.

Today,she is neither sobbing nor complaining about him.She is not caring about anything anymore.She changed.No.I think she was lost,some where behind the trees & far away so that one couldn't even peep at her.Today I don't see my friend Tanu any more.She never speaks to anyone other than her family members.She doesn't believe in man,god or who-ever-it-is.She loves solitude.She loves burying herself in books & work,so she doesn't remember any of her past.Now she is invulnerable,she don't have anything to loose.She is not afraid of the world anymore.
Except we are worried about you.
You don't deserve this,for deciding not to grab his happiness by telling him the fact that you don't love him,its just an accident that the words are uttered.
Love You.

I don't know its whose mistake for Tanu being left alone,I couldn't blame anyone,both are my friends.What do you guys think?


  1. Hey NRI girl ...good to see you back
    Well...i believe , anyone can love a girl or a boy in this world , but it takes courage to take it to the next level. Not everyone can boast off having that guts. While in love , on high emotions, you got a false confidence that you can face anything that comes in-between you and your love. But as the love lost its initial sheen with the time, the sensible part of your mind takes control over the emotional part and you starts getting nightmares about the consequences of going ahead....caste,money,job,culture and what your mind starts finding a thousand reasons for letting that relationship go . Here you need courage and confidence to overcame that fear . May be "A" lacks that confidence, which i am damn sure he won't admit. It is not that he doesn't love your friend, but his will is not strong enough . The thing about the first love is that , it won't subside anytime in your life, it will be there in the corner of your mind . So , still there are chances of that love blooming .

  2. Oh my god. These relations are so complex. I think Tanu shall move on. She does not love Abhinav and Abhinav is a loser anyway. I wish you would have used some other initial and not 'A' for representing Abhinav in your story.

  3. @Sree:It may reside in the corner of his heart,but what matters is it made her heart-ache & made her loose interest in her life,which I am sure she don't deserve.

    @A:Haha,while writing I got you remembered.

  4. Hi Neeha,

    Thanks a lot for your wishes.
    Hmm Love is always a language of the strong , its tough for , when you get deceived in this journey.
    Love is never lost , its always there ..we just have to think differently.
    A was definitely narrow-minded ..I would say , 1st you go all over saying "I Love You" and later gives some stupid reasons.
    Love is something one has to understand that ..its not conditional ..its unconditional and never ceases to exists its keep growing on ..on on ..
    Love always changed people to do good for the one he/she loved ..its selfless.
    So if one thinks its can't continue then we must give the respect to at least say a final goodbye on a Good note.

    As always nothing goes as one thinks of . But there is a life after that so Just ask your frnd to move on ..take some +ve's from here and don't be sad ..might be there is some better thing is awaiting to be explored then sitting lost in something already gone and past ..which is kind of lifeless.
    So I wish she come out from this soon ..and be before .with you.

    take care.
    Ks :)

  5. it was awesomest... keep writing .....!!

    jai ho mangalmay ho

  6. I just wish to say one thing now. Protect her from any promising hope in the form of a guy. Why? because you never know, and if it happens, make sure it gets all the way through parents.

    Mind flutters, and it is dangerous. Its dark out there.

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  7. This is sad.. but she should not have let the break up affect to this extent.. He is not the "only man" present in the world.." (I am still there..hehe)

  8. Pain and separation are part and parcel of life. Sometimes what seems to be love, may just be a facade which disappears when challenges arise. Give her time, but try if you can to just be with her every now and then, in silence. Silence communicates feelings better than language. Let her go on living the current lifestyle. Don't force any ideas on her, the repercussion can be deadly. Time is the best healer. Keep loving her:)

  9. @Vivek:I agree with you,the best way to part is saying a final 'GOOD BYE',so that you have a chance to respect n care for each other life long.

    @Vish:I have no words for this.I expected some other comment:)

    @BA:Even I am afraid when it strikes me that she want to spend all her rest of life in the dark.

  10. prasad:He he,don't worry when you are involved in any relation you to try so hard to entangle from it.So better enjoy life as free-birds.

    @Cycloseven:Yes time is the best healer.We are waiting for that miracle to happen.

  11. Neeha... ohh thats so pathetic...and i feel like extending my hand to help your friend.. She needs counselling.. I can't see her or hear about her that way.. :( I am sooo sorry!
    And I agree with Anshul... If what she needs is to come back to this world, then its love. Make her realize, that everyone around love her. That is what matters most!
    Take care of her..

  12. Oh ...this is sad Neeha. i feel for Tanu. She needs lot of support ( though she prefers to be left alone). I think she will get out of this in few years time and then she must learn to not to trust wrong people.

  13. WEll they bot hare your friends so i guess you are in a diffcult position ..

    But I detest a MAN who will not keep the promise , maybe i am old fashioned or maybe life has taught me lessons over time .. THe one who promises and makes dreams of stuff like soul mate , an other BULLSHIT Well frankly in my eyes they dont deserve to live, and they need to kicked and thrown in some dungeon where they LIVE but Die each second...

    This story has become very common nowadays and lots of people get hurt, there are some selfish people out there who for there own happiness use you £$"£$ you and then leave you to hold the pieces while they go about having there fun...
    It happened with me it will happen with others tooo..

    Pure love is what the brave girl needs and since your friend then maybe you shud be there to help her out.. make her feel good , make her feel wanted , jsut LOVE HER.. it will take time but hopefully one day she will smile again...
    Wont say anything more on the guy since he is ur friend too..

    One this is for sure there are more WRONG people then good people and i guess it part of life we find more of WRONG till we find the right one ...

    DO take care of ur friend .. FRIENDSHIP is a beautiful relation


  14. That is really sad Neeha. Love sometimes become a trap. The question is will you call it love then?My prayers are with Tanu.

  15. May be he initially thought that he would be able to handle the whole situation but ultimately his family created problems for him and he succumbed to the pressure. These days there have been so many incidence out in the light about honour killing that it seems to be a very prevalent problem.

    support your friend and stand by her.

  16. I think Tanu has a big fault..she nevr loved him, it was he who loved and then retracted..She simple replied 'I know I don't love him.

    Its better he left now instead of after marriage and in today's world where girls want to have a free life and want to marry on their own, these instances will be very common, heartbreak..sometimes for girl,
    or boy...finding a life partner on your own will always involve something like this.

  17. I read it earlier and didn't know what to say...
    Tanu should have never said yes when its was a no..
    too late now...and as for "A"...guess he actually fell out of love or like most Indian Men lacks the spine when it matters most....
    Its a difficult time for her...but she will bounce back...stay in touch with her and over time nudge her to come of the shell...
    The pain of lost love relationship is no diff from a bad marriage and divorce....
    I healed with the support of loved ones and so will she.
    lastly, she is young and it ended before the altar, later would have been more painful as many lives become involved...

  18. That is why it is called falling in love.With the same ease with which you fall in to it,you can fall out of it too.

  19. I always wished relationships would be as simple as they describe in books and movies but it isn't!!

  20. I guess this is all like.. from the girls point of view.
    "A" might have said NO and called for a break-up after certain incidents.
    When he had the guts to love he would have had definitely the guts to marry her. But things might have not worked well between both.

    For the girl..
    Whatever might be the reason, just let go off him. It wil take time, I understand. Take your time. But when you bounce back make sure you give him a slappin answer with the way you live. And let him realize what he have lost.

    If the guy at all watches this I want to tel him this " For a girl, for who frames her boundaries with only dear ones...When you break her heart it is really gonna hurt her too bad and it takes ages for her to recover."
    She might fight with you, irritate you...coz she cares for u...coz she feels you so close.

    To both: No matter what happens, there is a rising sun, there is a hope....there is "LIFE"!!!