INAUGURATION FUNCTION

Finally the day is going to arrive when we are loosing our freedom.
Our first-year students are coming to college.
*Since I don't deal any first year subjects.I have my freedom.Thank God!!*

Before the Big Day....
.........Someone came and informed me that we have a dress code.All the Gents faculty have to be in suits and ties,the girls ladies faculty have to be in sarees by 8AM.To confirm the news,I went to meet Miss.V,here's our converstation.
Me:Hey is it true about that dress code?
V:  Yep,I need to come at 7:45.
Me:For what??I will not come.
V:  I have to come and wait near the Gate?
Me:What??Why???/
V:  I have to welcome parents & students.
Me:Are you kidding??
V  :Doesn't matter if you believe or not,but its true.
Me:Hey we are faculty..How could they ask us to do such things....But why you??
V  :They told that I always have a smile on my face.
     *LOL*
It made to remember the words our HOD used to say 'Don't compare our college with others'
Yep,Ours is unique.No other college will dare to imitate.

ON THE DAY
As usual I am late for college,I am in college at 9AM,without dresscode.*I love breaking the rules*.The inauguration function started.Our Principal and Academic Planning Director of our college would surely compete for the 'Worst English Ever spoke' award,if it exists.If I am the judge I would surely be in dilemma.
Here are some of the sentences that caught my attention...

Mr.Principal: Damage the computers,no problem.But learn something,that's important.
 *Mr.P,Do we have any systems in our college that are'nt damaged*
Call me daily and ask your child's feedback.I only will reply to your calls.Plzz Don't neglect your child's career.
*Mr.P we know that you don't have any work except screaming.Why do you want to prove it to outsiders too?*
....Need not worry.....You have abundant books in your library....
*Do you know the meaning of abundant??????Last week I asked for READERS DIGEST..I am given 'DYNAMIC MEMORY SUCCESS IN EXAMS WITH BETTER MARKS-be a perfect student'.In addition to this our dumb librarian says 'Mam,both are English books only.So try this'.I felt like hitting on the head,for not providing the head.All the books in the library are in English only Idiot!!!*

Mr.Director: As  a matter of fact I didnt understand a bit what he spoke,even I am hooked to each and every word he spoke.But he used the following words.......son.....new......old......son-in-law.....brother-in-law....
After discussing it with my staff,we some how interpreted in the following way:
Even though this is new college,we give importance to it a lot....The same way we give to our old other colleges...Its equal to our son.
We left the in-laws in air..

Mr.Vice-pricipal: I am proud to say that Aeronautical Engineering(Did I mention that he is AE HOD as well as VP?) is gaining the significance day-by-day.And I believe all our students become great leaders and scientist like A.P.J.Abdul Kalam.
*I don't its a burning shame to Kalam.If he had heard the speach,he would have surely regretted for choosing Aeronautical Engineering.*

And later our S&H HOD came to introduce herself.She read some one and a half pages including number of workshops and presentations.*I don't know I have included those many details in my resume or not.*
I thought that if I stay in that hall for one more second,I may freak out.So left the room.

P.S:I pity the pathetic students,who helplessly listened to their false promises.May god bless them.