He gave me flowers..

I got flowers today. It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.We had our first argument last night and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.I know that he is sorry and didn't mean to say the things he said - because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.Last night he threw me into a wall and then started to choke me.It seemed like a nightmare but you wake up from nightmares to find that they aren't real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.I know he must be sorry - because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today. And it wasn't Valentines Day or any other special day. Last night he beat me and threatened to kill me.Makeup and long sleeves didn't hide the cuts and bruises this time.I couldn't go to work because I didn't want anyone to know.But I know he is sorry - because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.Last night he beat me again and it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him what will I do? How will I take care of the kids?What about money? I'm afraid of him and too scared to leave him!But he must be sorry - because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
 It was the day of my funeral.
Last night he finally killed me. I was beaten to death.
If only I would have gathered enough courage and strength to leave him. 

 So I got flowers today - for the very last time. 

~Author Unknown

You might like to visit : http://saynotoviolence.org/

An ordinary girl

I am unlucky,You know that...

But I am lucky,I know that...

I lost my life & came to know what life is....

I value it & want live it up to my expectations...

I may not be the same again,never mind....

I am ready to face ups and downs in the roller-coaster ride known as 'life',

I don't need  your help ,to heal my wounds...
Just leave me the way I am...

'Stop hurting me any more'.

Your truly,

An ordinary girl with extraordinary love for you.

Doomed

There's never a day in the past,that you didn't think of me,

I never knew I was lucky.

There's never a day in my present,that I didn't think of you,

I never knew I was cursed.

I never knew anything,

 Never realized how close we are,

Never fathomed how strong our bond is,

Never recognized how special you are,

But today I knew my life is doomed without you.

I also knew you deserve some one better than me.

Have a great life,
             My love.

P.S:I just penned whatever came into my mind,with few modifications.Hope you like it.

P.P.S : I am busy these days watching 'BONES'.I watch some 7-8 shows daily, that's how I am spending my holidays.Boring right??Still I love it:P

Life ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other...Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.

 

 

See you and me have a better time than most can dream of, better than the best, so we can pull on through, whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down, and if nothing can be done, we'll make the best of what's around.

 

 

P.S : I don't know why but from the past week I am continuously playing the same song.Might be life becomes so hard for us sometimes.But right now I have no worries except enjoying my busy schedule:)

Destiny

I just wanna spend my life

Before this second passes away...

Coz every second that passes away is an injury

That never gets healed..

And each second retains a memory that takes me to my destination

The destination that makes me remember you forever

                                                   My love♥♥♥♥

Invisible Mask!!!

I love myself for having so many nostalgic movements including the ones that left me bitter , this makes me realize I am just an ordinary soul full of emotions.I always thought myself as an human being with mask all the time so people around me can never try to decipher who I am.

But I never predicted people around me are also in the mask that prevented me from diagonalizing who they are.Their lives are filled with emotions & sickness that's making them collapse & prevent them from moving towards the future.

Today I gave a call to 'G',whom I have known from childhood.By the end of the call I realized all of us living in the world or much better trying to live in the world that's completely invisible to our human eye.I never thought of 'G' as a person who had emotions behind his witticism.Relations are so complex & we can never loose the charm of  'first-love',doesn't matter how hard we try.The words still echoes in my ears 'Somehow bring me out of this!!!!!'.

One thing that's positive about relations is they bring out the actual 'you' within yourself,the one you never imagined,the one you never thought,the one you never predicted and the one who you never are.There are some positive things about nostalgia , this tells us how precious other humans are & how unique you are from others.

I lost two of my close friends in the name of 'Love',one who left the world & the other whose just no more than zombie.The movement I lost them,I lost myself & the 'belief' I had in relationships.From the day I  never thought of any relationship other than family.When I meant family , I mean purely blood-relation.But today after speaking with 'G' I felt like there are so many unsaid & truly felt emotions behind every mask.

It's been years since I trusted in any men.I am avoiding them as much as possible,I couldn't imagine myself in Tanu's position.But guess I am wrong.I need to give a try.I need to enjoy each & every relation that humans are destined.

I am an ordinary soul who is always busy running from relations.....I am afraid I might be hurt....But today guess I am a bit changed.....I will start enjoying the life the way I deserve......I am proud of myself......I am one lucky girl to have things around me happening the way they should.....


P.S : It's spring-break from today!!!!!!!Hip-hip-hurray!!!
Lots of Love buddies.....

SANDS OF TIME

I knew today means nothing to you

But it means a lot to me

This is the day that filled my hopes

And rejoiced my joy

I felt secure & comfortable in your arms

I believed you will never hurt me

One fine day,you left me forever

It doesn't hurt me anymore

It just killed my soul & I lost my innocence

Still, I don't regret

I laugh when I see the

Innocent reflection in the mirror

I wait for the rains

To cleanse my maimed soul

Now I realize life's too short or too long

To think about the past

And hope one day the glamour of love

Will be eroded with 'SANDS OF TIME'

Tricky Life

"The tricky thing about life is too often you don't know what's important until the moment passes."

Insomnia

"Some things were better off left buried."

             

P.S : I want to dedicate this post to my assignment,I feel it's better buried so it doesn't bother me any more leading to Insomnia.

The moment I despised mankind

 Now before I go ahead telling you the story,I take pride in introducing my Best Friend Tanu,who is innocent,charming,sensitive,bubbling and full of fun.I know her right from my childhood,so I can easily guess her decisions and attitude.She is so close to me and thrusts me more than a family member.That's why I knew each and everything that happened in her life & why today I lost her.

Tanu and Abhinav are best friends from their high school & care alot for each other.'A' proposed her in 12th class,but Tanu didn't accept the proposal,and indeed didn't believe that he proposed her.She felt so sorry for him,blaming herself,that in one way or the other she might be responsible for his feelings.So she decided not to speak to him anymore,so that it would be for the better cause.Years passed and finally they lost touch with each other.Her life would have been much better if the relation ended-up there and then itself.

Tanu's friend Navya,made a prank by informing 'A' that Tanu got an accident and was badly injured.Concerned 'A' left a scrap 'Get well soon'.In an online chat Tanu came to know that 'A' was so concerned about her,so decided to be friends once again.Unfortunately after some days,'A' proposed to Tanu,her response was positive.The next day she told me she accepted the proposal.Awestruck,I asked her 'Do you love him?'.There came a Big NOOOOOOO!!Then I asked her what's this?She simply told me,somewhere she likes him,but she don't love him & guess she was in truce yesterday so the answer was  'yes'.I warned her,that he don't belong to our caste and your parents are not going to accept this at any cost.She simple replied 'I know I don't love him,but he was so happy yesterday,I can't spoil it.I care a lot for him,you might point out that he might not suit me but that doesn't matter as long as he loves me,he will handle my parents'.

They were happy for an year.I know 'A' always mutters 'I LOVE YOU' to her,he never misses saying these words.He is studying in IIT's and aspires to become a scientist,when I asked which one do you prefer Scientist or Tanu?He replied 'I will be happy to receive an award as a scientist if Tanu is beside me,if I don't have a life with her,it doesn't matter what I am.Simply I am no more.My life ends there,at that movement.You can never find me,not any social-networking sites or whatever.I will just live my life for my parents'.When I thought about them I used to think,they are made for each-other and Tanu is the most luckiest girl in the world.Tanu used to always tell 'A',that no matter what happens even if they are separated she still cares for him her entire life,just the way she cares now.Tanu used to warn 'A' that our relation may not work-out,coz we are different castes,even then she want to see a smile on his face and if really that situation arises,she would prefer to leave the earth & pray for that.

One fine day,'A' came to chat with Tanu,he mentioned that this relation isn't going to happen.She simply asked the reason.He told 'PERSONAL'.The once-upon-a-time his soulmate,life,love had now become a stranger for him.She begged him to tell the reason,so she can lead a normal life again,not pitying herself that she had been deceived.The answer is simple 'I am busy,DON'T DISTURB','Stop IRRITATING me'.Finally one day he came up with the answer that,he came to know the fact that his BC and financially week.Rubbish.Couldn't he come up with  a better reason or a bitter fact.She told him that it didn't matter,and she will offer the possible financial help,he simply called her 'MONEY-MINDED',and told that her caste matters to his family.Finally one day he let it out,he don't have any FEELINGS for her.

She was left alone,all the way.I remembered the days she tried desperately to call him,sobbed till 4am or 5am,skipped her meals,stayed in the rest rooms thinking of him.She was so obsessed that she wasn't able to find any option left except killing herself.She was so innocent and vulnerable that still she called him and explained her situation asking him to just be as friend,and speak politely.She wasn't even lucky to have her minor wish fulfilled.I need to agree that he was patient with her,listened to her when she sobbed and complained for the first few weeks,later he gave-up.But he never realized that he was just listening to her problems,and it's she who is paying for what he had done.
He proposed.
He went around her.
He called her soul-mate.
He told her,his life in incomplete without her.
He told he needed her.
He finally quit.

When I asked about it,he simply replied 'Our relation will never end with a friendship,so this is the only way we can get parted.'.Foolish or Bullshit.I don't know what to call.Why can't he explain his situation,I know my friend is mature enough to understand his problems.But he never understood that or anything about my friend.He was so caring & loving with her,when he thought he loved her.The movement he declared a BREAK-UP,he just ignored her,even when she was admitted in the hospital for an operation.He neither called her,when we asked why?He told that he assumed it was a minor operation & Tanu itself told him that she was okay.She felt so bad for calling him in the last movement before her operation when everyone expected that she had no chances of surviving.

Today,she is neither sobbing nor complaining about him.She is not caring about anything anymore.She changed.No.I think she was lost,some where behind the trees & far away so that one couldn't even peep at her.Today I don't see my friend Tanu any more.She never speaks to anyone other than her family members.She doesn't believe in man,god or who-ever-it-is.She loves solitude.She loves burying herself in books & work,so she doesn't remember any of her past.Now she is invulnerable,she don't have anything to loose.She is not afraid of the world anymore.
Except we are worried about you.
You don't deserve this,for deciding not to grab his happiness by telling him the fact that you don't love him,its just an accident that the words are uttered.
Love You.

I don't know its whose mistake for Tanu being left alone,I couldn't blame anyone,both are my friends.What do you guys think?

What is Love??

What is Love?Is it voluntary enslavement or the freedom of existence.Being a voluntary slave gives us pleasure.But if our 'alter ego' spurn us,we will be left with pain.As far as I have tasted life,pain & pleasure never co-exist. Freedom - you love someone, but doesn't wish to posses him/her,you will be left grieving.There are no circumstances where grief & exemption co-exist.

Which way of destruction is better??

Surrendering ourselves at bay or Being a restless soul..

What is Love?Is it true & profound desire?Is it the desire that makes an ordinary human-being to move the earth & heaven for their loved one's?Is it the desire that is prohibited,unrestricted & uncontrollable?Is it the desire that fails us in repressing our feelings & self-control?Might be love is just a question that seeks answer.

What is Love?Love is something divine.But what is divinity??As all the holy books & gospels proclaim divinity is a form how man try to communicate with god.But no one knows the exact way to reach god.The same way no one knows the exact way to find love.Man is always in search of divinity & love,the path which is full of obstacles.
 
I have read some where "What the eyes don't see,the heart doesn't grieve over'.But there is an exception if we are in love,"What the eyes don't see,the heart does grieve over'. Love is something that makes our heart break & still you cannot point out or try to judge.You are helpless in love.Yes this is my definition for LOVE

P.S : The above post is written after reading PC's quotes...truly inspired by the way he describes Love and relationships...hope you guys to enjoy his novels...

Act against abuse

Established in 1991, the international 16 Days of Activism to Stop Violence Against Women campaign officially begins on November 25 (International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women) and ends on December 10 (World Human Rights Day), to highlight the connection between women, violence and human rights.

This 16-day period also includes other significant dates such as December 6, which marks the Anniversary of the Montreal Massacre. In 1989, fourteen women were shot dead in the Montreal School of Engineering by a young man, who believed it was because of female students that he was not accepted into the engineering school. This brutal act triggered the creation of the White Ribbon Campaign – a global initiative by Canadian men.

Since its establishment, more than 1,700 organisations in 130 countries have participated in the 16 Days campaign.

The white ribbon, according to the department, symbolises the commitment of the wearer to "never commit or condone violence against women and children, and to speak out about violence where they see it."

Positions

1. Violence against women and children is criminal.
2. All forms of violence and abuse against women are unacceptable
3. You are not alone, please ask for help.

In India if you are abused you can file petition under IPC 123,DVA(Domestic Violence Act) which comes under IPV(Intimate Partner Violence).
If the abuser is harassing you for Dowry you can file under 498A
There are several organization such as Women Cell and HRLN etc.. to help and uplift women in India.

P.S:If any of you are being abused,plz feel free to mail..I may not be the person in the same field,but as an Indian and Feminist ill  try my level best to give you the details of some persons who will surely help you.

Click the below link to check my friend/fellow-blogger's views on Domestic violence :
http://arealblogger.blogspot.com/2010/10/domestic-violence.html

Frenzy Friday..

Usually I love friday's,waiting for weekend.But today I am feeling agonized.Last two weeks have been so perfect,I received admit mail from every college I applied to.

*Did I mention I am planning to do MS??*

The reporting date is exactly one month away.I didn't receive the letters from the college I chose to go & the work is being piled up.I don't know how to stay calm.Even in my dreams I am ending up with these paper-work.So I woke up early morning,not understanding what to do or at least how to fall asleep.The empty chocolate case played it's role in making my mood much worst.There are innumerable juggling thoughts surrounding me & so many 'what if's' embracing me.

What if I don't receive my I20 in time??
What if the required visa dates ain't available??
What if the processing of documents aren't completed??
What if the college doesn't provide the late-approval letter??
What if the visa is rejected??
What if I don't have time to reapply the visa??

I have read some where that the most dangerous/sucking/irritating/annoying word in English is 'W',coz all the worries start with it.
Who?
Why?
What?
When?
Whom?
Which?
Where?
What if?
War!
Wine! 
*Guys stop searching for 'Women' or 'Wife'*
Its so true...Now,my story has become a sobbing story.Hope everything sets fine.Till then, me signing-off.
I need your wishes & blessing.So wish me 'All the best' buddies.
Ciao

Attended a bride viewing..

Presently I am in Hyderabad for my cousin's bride-viewing.Let me tell you the count.From our girls side we are 14,from the other side they are 7.So don't you think that it would be better if we call this as groom-viewing??Ok,leave it aside.I have much more things to tell you.
As usual the starting phase is introduction.Next three batches were formed.One consisting of all gents,other ladies and last ours(Me,sister,cousin,he).
*Point to be noted,this viewing,questioning is a formality.Everyone knows this is gonna hit.Thanks to communication technology these days*
He:Hii
Me:Hii
He:So now its your turn to rag me,you are not going to attend our marriage,right??
Me:Yes.But don't worry my sister will take care of that.
He:So which coll are you planning to go??
Me:*gave the reply*
He:Tell me about your cousin??
Sis:Calm,soft-natured
He:No I don't agree
Csn:Hello,you need to agree.
Me: *smiling*

----After 5min's-------

He:I expected you will ask some questions
Csn:Did you forget??You told me that you will ask the questions.
He:I will ask you when we are alone.
*What does dat mean??Asking us to leave??Don't forget I served you some snacks*
Csn: *giggling*

-----After ten minutes-------

He:Any of you ask me some questions?
Me:Do you read novels?
He:Not that interested.
Me:Do  you watch pic's?
He:Not frequently
Me:OK
He:Thinking that your sis and I are perfect?
Not exactly.I will never come to your house in the weekends.I will die to boredom.
Do you watch serials??Are you bala-krishna's fan?Do you have caste feeling??Do you have a face-buk and twitter account(Wanted to know whether he is technologically updated or not)?Do you have the habit of blogging??..........Shut-up Neeha.Don't irritate him.

--------After 15min's---------
(Is it sounding like Ekta's leap?)

Csn: Ask me something?
He:I will ask you when you are alone.
(This is the Second time)
Csn:Tell me some thing
Why on earth am I here???God have mercy on mee,plz
He:Silpa(sis) is feeling bored & neeha is sleeping one-side
Sitting in between these two is like my wildest nightmare come true,and he is telling I am sleeping.Lolll


---------After 10min's-----

Csn:You planned to ask something na??
He:I can't ask you in front of others.Need some space.
OMG!!This is the ultimate insult.Can't my cousin shut her mouth for sometime.I am blocked,so unable to move....ammee....Somehow bells rang in my sister's brain.She left the room and I simply followed her path.....yoyoo..

This is the conversation we had for nearly an hour.Oh my god!!!!!!
I decided never to enter in-between a pair.Why on earth did my dumb sister call us??
Sometimes I wonder what do they speak till late nights??When they don't speak anything other than this boring conversation.I bet my life I would have spoken much better to any unknown stranger.
*I remember what my bro-in-law frequently says,need privacy, right??Okay*
Need to agree love marriages are in some cases better than arranged.And I am sure this is one of the reasons,Need not waste your precious by simply staring & smiling at each other(without any reason).The worst thing is even I sat there smiling without understanding why they are giggling.

*This part is updated after referring to my friend's comments*
Finally they are gonna tie the knot on March 17th.And let me tell you guys,whenever my mom & aunt finds free time they start adoring him.
It takes hours to recall when my mom last praised me.Poor mom,when does she realize the glittering gem she has isn't a rhinestone but a diamond??But seriously my mom finds something postive in everyone,excluding myself..

You won yet you lost by Betraying....

'Ho sakhe toh mujhe maaf karoo' aarrgghhhhhhh!!I hate those wordss....

I wonder why do people always do this,no matter whether its a boy or girl.

Why do people say they love someone and make false promises,if they dont have the capability to keep the word.No matter whatever the lame excuse is,it would definitely leave the partner with a broken heart.

If you do have a problem with ur partner tell it the movement,the problem started.Why do u let the problem to bulge out.

If you don't love your partner at least respect them,with the due respect tell them the fact that you don't wanna be around them any longer..Instead why do u still continue to behave the same when she/he is around(ofc, im sure der will b slight difference in ur behaviour,attitude)and fool them by moving with others,when ur partner still blindly believes you are busy with work or jus got struck with some tight schedule so you couldn't show up..n still believes that u r truely,deeply n madly in love with them as they are with you..

And Im sure every person who is cheating will surely mention some reason.Even some might be soo hard to believe like 'she doesn't love me any more' or 'We thought its love but its jus infatuation' and all that crap.

But why dont you think these before you start a relation??

No matter what the reason is you cant justify them..

I am sure,If I have some supernatural power,I wil let them weep their entire lif..coz I strongly believe its worse to break a heart than to kill a person..

The simple solution is talk to your partner and solve the problem the movement it raises,Its not a big deal..you can share your problem with ur once-upon-a-time soul mate..After all in the past its she with whom u shared everything..At least give her a chance to decide her life..Atleast do it jus as a human-being.

"Think a million times before proposing or accepting a proposal,its not a mistake.But don't let the thought creep into your brain after committed,its a mortal sin"

P.S:I Got a forwarded msg which is so aptly true for all such cases..Heres the msg:

"You hurted me more than I deserved,its coz I loved you more than you deserved'

P.P.S:The dialogue in the first line is from the serial 'karam apna apna'.
So readers plz don't misinterpret it as incident from my life.

Secrets..

I remember very well once my friend told me 'Secrets will be as secrets only if one person knows it,if others have the slightest clue..it will never be a secret'.I never understood the significance of that,but with some experiences I think I need to agree with her completely.
Its sooo true!!
Let me tell you what hurts the most is not that the secret is revealed,but to face the fact that the person you trusted a lot let you down. Some even don't apologize.Shittt!! I hate such creatures.

I know all these gossips,rumors & secrets looks more spicy than Page3 reviews,but still how can one do that??When one tells you something and gives the label 'TOP SECRET',then just shut your mouth.Okay?
Guys!!Let me tell you something, never let any person loose thrust in you.Life's too short and too complicated.Only few people enter into our lives,with true intentions so never ever loose them in your life.

P.S:I had a function in my house enjoyed a lot and still enjoying....You too have a great weekend buddies!!

It's you..

Its You..
Who Can See My Unshed Tears
Who knows the feign in my smile
Who makes me laugh irrepressibly
Who will lend me a shoulder to cry
.
.
.
And One Fine Day,
Its You,
Who finally disappears into mists
.
.
.
No matter
Where you are
How you are
.
.
.
I can and will wait for you
Till the last movement of my life
My life is lifeless without your presence
.
.
.
Its you whom I am asking to share my life from now to Eternity
Now and forever I will stay beside you and love you always
No matter what the society says or calls this relation
Im willing to be what you need and what you seek

JUST ACCEPT ME & MY LOVE FOREVER